‘Unbelievable’ iPad unbelievably overrated

Sean Roberts, Alestle Photographer

by Sean Roberts, Alestle Photographer

In a video that resembled something you would expect from a proponent of Jonestown, a glossy-eyed Apple employee announced… the highly anticipated, highly hyped iPad. It is being hailed as a revolutionary new “magical” device, and at an “unbelievable” price.

What’s really unbelievable is that anyone would actually spend up to $829 on this. In what amounts to a mix of total arrogance and complete unoriginality, the iPad looks like a giant iTouch, and with huge oversights in software, this will likely a big bust for Apple.

While Apple is clearly targeting the ‘Average Joe’ consumer rather than the most technical of users, the average consumer doesn’t have much to look forward to either. If you’re thinking of getting a new portable computer for light activities, just get a netbook. Here are six things I can do on a netbook that you cannot do on a iPad.

1. Do two things at once. For some time, all commercially successful modern computers have allowed multitasking. It’s such an intuitive task that most consumers would not even think about. Though smartphones have been stuck with a lack of multitasking, those performance and stability issues resulted because of the complex tasks on something as small as a phone.

In what looks like a direct port from the iPod, Apple put the same lack of multitasking on their iPad as they did their iPhones. This is a huge mistake. Even Average Joe Consumer wants to do two things at once. Apple included a relatively fast processor in the new iPad, but unfortunately, we can’t use it.

2. Replace the battery. For anyone who has owned a laptop, you know that battery life is not forever. After two years, my laptop lasts a good 30 minutes without a charge. With a laptop, however, or almost any non Apple product, I can go out and buy a battery any time I want. Not so with an Apple product. I have to send it to them for THEM to replace — and it will cost me a lot more money.

3. Anything with a webcam.  One fun thing to do on a computer with a webcam is make goofy photos and videos of you and your friends. In fact, it’s become a very popular feature on most netbooks and portable devices. Most people expect at least the ability to video chat with friends and family on a webcam, especially Average Joe. Unfortunately, the iPad is lacking a front-facing camera, a back-facing camera or a camera at all.

4. Go out to eat. After spending up to $800 dollars on features I already have on my phone, I’m going to have to stick to the ramen for a while. If I wanted a portable device, I would buy a netbook and save on the budget. You can easily find a similar netbook for around $400. Why I or any average consumer would spend up to twice as much for half the functionality?

5. Air conditioning… or anything else with a USB hookup. With no USB ports — in fact, the only data input port is a proprietary Apple port — good luck attaching your camera, printer, or USB air conditioner to this media device,

6. Feel like a man. The feminine hygiene jokes will never leave the iPad. Personally, I’ve got no interest in carrying a pad around everywhere I go.

Special Mention: While the iPad and netbooks both share in the ability to read books, both of them do it poorly. Unfortunately, Apple is making the iPad out to be an eBook reader for the casual consumer. However, staring at a bright screen for hours causes eye strain, which was the same issue that prevented computers, notebooks, and netbooks from being popular eBook readers. This problem led to innovations like eInk found in Amazon’s Kindle, a far more popular eBook reader than any computer.

I was almost looking forward to Apple’s new netbook— it’s a great idea, in theory — the iPad was a huge disappointment. My recommendation: if you’re planning to buy an iPad, wait until more devices like it are release. Plenty are planned, and I’m willing to bet you won’t be nearly as disappointed.